Where’s my ladder?

My mind wants to hinge on the negative. So I throw it the flip side & watch it simmer. And I throw it poetry & find a black hole. Shimmer back to senior year, how I tossed a swimming pool into the black hole paper, how creativity tossed with science is good enough to get you graduated.

How time is like a see-saw. How I might not always understand physics but even the edges of it fascinate me. How the pull of my brain intercedes in my day until my husband’s very real physical body pulls against my push and I’m left with my lovely self. How his knowledge counteracts that compare/contrast game my brain plays.

The simple truth is I am here in my own story. The negative view keeps me stuck & miserable. My husband pulls at the thread of that view & suddenly both my emotions and what is emerge: I’m sad about my eldest baby growing up, still working toward my writing goals and moving toward the unknowable future. Still me: amazed at a black hole’s properties while I slowly plod toward what I want. I want more time with my girls, time to write & connect. I unhinge my brain from its negativity bias once again. I begin again, find my ladder and climb into the day.

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