It’s almost time for bed, but here I am. I promised myself I’d post everyday. That this would be a container for my work, my way of making myself show up on the page even when I’d rather coast. It’s tricky, having a blog, even when blogs are out of style and not the way to make it (make it to what? well, you know, a book contract based on the blog). Well, OK, sometimes that still happens. But really, I am rambling because I said I’d show up. And I can’t tell you everything here, but I can tell you some things. Like lately I’m noticing the weird ways anxiety shows up when you least expect it. Even after you’ve said no to almost every holiday event, the tiredness of winter and all life entails means I sometimes change the few maybes to no’s. Because: rest, it’s what I need. In the same way that I need this blog to make myself responsible to myself. Responsible to the idea that I want to create a few more manuscripts that may turn into books. I need to practice my way into what is next. And that’s why I’m typing this after a shift at the bookstore. Which came after writing a rough draft for a work article. Which came after that early-morning-get-ready-for-school-work-household shift.
I’m off to what’s next: rest. See you tomorrow.