This Resting Place by Nancy Schatz Alton
It’s possible to know what I want:
a long walk
fresh expensive pastries cut & shared
a weekend spent with intention:
walk, coffee, eat
write, yoga, no shopping, a little sorting
It’s possible to relish where I’m at now:
a long way into parenthood
shocked & pleased as my daughter shares news
late at night, how she’s making her life her own
with intention. And then her voice raised in song
alongside her little sister’s voice.
Chris & I making our eyes stay open
as we listen & revel in this resting place.
It’s possible to have enough time off:
time enough to realize all is well enough
that the future will arrive with no thank you
for my worry. I’ll worry some anyway.
But these sweet days following Thanksgiving
sweep in & loosen the fear that surfaces.
A fear that sometimes shifts into a scared meanness.
It’s possible to slow down my days:
to sit with an open heart.
If I practice the sitting & the walking
& the listening, that closed fearful place in me uncoils.
That venomous snake who hisses & brays & snaps & frets,
she quiets down. She hears my daughters singing late at night.
It’s enough to soothe her, the songs full of a soft heat.
She rests & I rest. We have a long walk, warm coffee,
& we share fresh expensive pastries.
We eat every crumb: sweet & tender. We are full.