Today it feels like I’m throwing my work into the void. I prefer the work reverberates back to me. But that’s not how it works sometimes.
I’ve spent a lot of time on parenting these last 17 years. When your kids are young, everything you do reverberates back to you. I mean they bounce it back at your continually. As they get older, this happens less.
I am pretty sure that’s why throwing my writing work into the void feels weird right now. I’m getting less and less connection from the parenting gig. And that is how it works. I am not saying my kids need to give me some more feedback.
But I am finding that I need more back and forth from the world now that I have less back and forth with my offspring. Or with their friends. Or the kids I coached at Girls on the Run and led at Girl Scouts. I mean, I still teach tomorrow. But there’s less and less interaction on this parenting front.
So I send my writing work into the world. Sometimes people comment on the blog. Occasionally, readers of my magazine work tell me their thoughts. I know that’s how writing is: you put it out there. The glory is in the interviewing (always), the writing (sometimes) and that feeling you get when you hand in a piece of writing that works. Writing does feed me. I don’t want to stop that process.
But I’m adding in more back and forth with real people. That’s what happens at my bookstore job and at the place I work at one day a week. I am adding in teaching adults in March. So far, the sign-up is far from full. I hear that’s how it goes when you start teaching in new venues. And it still feels vulnerable to market myself, so I haven’t marketed myself enough. But you know what? No matter what I am going to have fun teaching a few people on the first few Wednesdays in March. I’m a good teacher. I love the interaction that happens in the classroom. I love talking about words and writing and making space for creativity. Join me if can: for 1, 2 or 3 nights. I’ll be teaching Structuring Creativity between 7 and 8 pm on March 6th, 13th, and 20th and the Ram and Bee Wellness Center in Ballard. Sign up here or email me and I can help you with sign-up.
I’m looking forward to the back and forth that happens in a classroom. I hope to see some of you there.
The void is a tough audience…it’s hard to read. Think about putting it out there without expectation. You might feel better.
Oh, I try to limit my expectations. It doesn’t always work, though. I think I’m merely human. I think we hear this all the time: expect nothing. It’s pretty natural to expect something. It’s work to lower our expectations. And still and yet: I’m human. I can think I expect nothing, tell myself to expect nothing, and still feel not-so-great.