Flip-book, Memory Edition by Nancy Schatz Alton I am leaning across the fence. You are backing away. You stitch tank tops. I stitch longing while remembering need: Your need for me gathered in a flip book baby-toddler-preschooler —stop— stop freeze. I am leaning across the fence. You wear stripes, like me. Your hair, long & […]
Category: Parenting
Re-frame
I want to write in the third person to get some distance from my flaws. I want to believe Madeleine L’Engle when she writes that our flaws will get us through. I want to tell you that my youngest donned a helmet and a harness and climbed halfway up the rope ladder and almost made […]
Advice
Advice by Nancy Schatz Alton “In fact it takes a long time to realize/ your suffering is of very little consequence/ to anyone but you.” –Melissa Stein, from “Seven Minutes in Heaven.” When the suffering comes the entire house sleeps Or it feels like that But the noises tell you otherwise The rain drips from […]
Learning to See
I see the picture of the girls’ choir on their weekend trip and my insides lurch with an ache that’s familiar as my daughter’s profile. My girl didn’t go on the choir weekend. We paid for the trip. She never really wanted to go. We planned and plotted and called it scaffolding. The day before […]
Now
Now By Nancy Schatz Alton I’m on the edge of something. Its curves lead to my flaws, the messes I’ve made, the ruptures followed by repair. I’m dancing to Prince. My youngest returns all notes with her perfect pitch We’re weaving a story out of song. One of my oldest friends hands […]
The Nest
I want to be in the choir. In step with the people who are snapping their fingers, stomping their feet, slapping their legs. Harmonizing. I am out of step but fully ready to immerse myself in joy. To say I belong even if I’m out of tune and still learning the song. *** I grab […]
Flaws
My daughter brought me a song. My Kk handed me a song called “Flaws.” I use it to crack myself open. I listen to the acoustic version and I cry. I cry to touch that place in me that I don’t have access to because it’s deep and scared, scared that someone will see […]
This Is What You Came For
This Is What You Came For For the call from the accident claim office. To repeat the accident scene. Again. When you don’t want to talk about it anymore because you know the acidic bile in your stomach will churn and rise again. This is What You Came For In Capital Letters. in lowercase letters, […]
Sentiment for Hair Dryers
My hair dryer is a fire hazard. I find the smallest tool; try to clean out the lint. There is no cleaning out the lint. The small things weave into me, how if I can edge out the small dust particles until the holes are clear, this hand-held miracle will be restored to full power. […]
Night Wakings
Mothering: Age 16 by Nancy Schatz Alton The night waking evolves & it’s almost like a miracle to be needed by you even as I’m still figuring out how to make it up as I go along. This parenting is like a run-on sentence with no grammar fix because if I pile up enough words […]