Another morning here

Allergies or cold? Who knows? All I know is I prop my pillows & catch whatever sleep I can & when I wake & have to stand up make lunches & squeeze my youngest awake standing up stops the flow & I breathe while wanting to sleep while wanting all my dreams to have already […]

Bloom

When we opened up our friend’s closed house, the first thing I noticed were the white remains of the Christmas cactus blooms. Underneath the shade-covered window, the dry-stalked hulls crumbled in my hands. Some now-white-past-prime blooms were still attached to the succulent plant. Succulent sounds like abundant water, but this spindly light green cactus was […]

You must remember this

Lines of poems live in my head— If I must remember everything— this will stand for grief— the moment of change is the only poem— yet I woke this morning thinking of memories that do not change: the ice rink, the swings, the monkey bars, the climbing trees, the playground ponies, your backyard house, the […]

Dish Duty

I keep going back to how doing the dishes makes me feel warm, alive, full of purpose & moving forward, my placement: correct. Give me the colon: exact directions to save me from worry A dirty kitchen to clean, one task after another until I forget destiny.   Warm, alive, full of purpose & moving […]

Love Day

Love is in the coffee every single morning. It’s in the way my eldest asks me, “How was your day?” And it’s how my youngest stays with hugs for the longest time. It’s all those texts returned from friends during the witching hour. The witching hour can happen any time of every day and night. […]

Mine

Mine  by Nancy Schatz Alton I have a body and a mind: it is mine. It’s mine to redden: I am blush all over. I’m the tart lemon I squeeze into my mouth after I dress the green avocado. I’m the sum of everything that came before & I often can’t decide what will come […]

Orange

There’s green acrylic paint on the wooden chairs in our dining room. It’s from the children who are no longer children. On Sunday, I painted at our table. I paint only so I can see orange and red thick lines on heavy paper. I paint so I can feel texture being laid down heavy. So […]

Oh Baby

As you go out, I go in to worry, my interior stomach, my too-much-to-take-in-this-world-sandwich of what have we done by making a baby who will leave one day? My mom tells me it’s an age-old story, this story I am living right now. A friend tells me she hated the whole last year before her […]

New

I can’t get enough of endings last phone calls & letters friends I’ll never converse with again fixed places in my memory’s strong box newness never interferes until white invites me in expected snow, her scenery soft green boughs shift with the weight of her water a plane’s engine churns overhead my husband says, “Oh […]

Slow Learning

I am having a hard time learning to be slow. To wait for what shows up. To think that if I haven’t arrived already: my time has passed. That word: arrival. I know there isn’t one moment of arrival. And arriving at the big time: a billion clicks: that’s only one kind of arrival. Every […]