Lately, life seems pretty wide open. I mean, it still keeps coming at me full force. There is news of lice in my in-box. Girls that want to skip school and lunches to pack. I have bills to pay and feelings to maneuver. I survived a sleepless Girl Scout overnight.
I am even the one causing sleep interruptions. When my allergies are in high gear, I snore. This is embarrassing, yet uncontrollable. It’s funny just how ashamed you can feel about something you have no power over. There was a time where I would have beat myself up over this noisy night problem. OK, I still feel bad. I have changed, though. I no longer want to berate myself. I am a marvelous person that snores sometimes. Feeling good is so much nicer than getting mad at myself.
This sounds simple, yes? Treating me with loving care actually takes work. I slept horribly the first night of the camp out. During our first hike, I knew I would cause numerous nighttime interruptions as my allergies flared up. When I lay my head down, I was scared. Here it comes, the noise, the waking up, and the knowing that everyone could hear me. Some weird walkie-talkie alarm went off at 3 am. I tossed and turned. The Girl Scouts woke up the poor adults at 5:15 am. Oh my, I was miserable.
I dozed for a while, waking up to kid noise off and on. Finally, I laid there and thought, what now? First, I turned on my I-pod Shuffle. A little Alexi Murdoch soothed me. I meditated to the music, repeating my mantra. A few songs later, I eased out of bed and found my yoga mat. I worked through poses. My co-leader suggested I go do yoga with the girls. “I have to do some yoga myself first, or I am going to kill those girls,” I said.
Isn’t that a sweet reply? Still, I front-loaded good energy into myself and infused the day with a bit of calmness. The next 15 hours were long. I would be lying if I said they were completely joyful. Nevertheless, I had moments of bliss, some delicious food, and enjoyed hiking. I also fell asleep sitting up at one point.
So much of the goodness comes from saying no to drama. I do not need to work myself into lather every time my mind freaks out. Whether or not I worry about lice, one of us will have lice or none of us will get lice. I’m going to snore sometimes, and often other people will be affected by this. The kids have school for one more week and I have a few more lunches to prepare. Money exists and feelings change. Life happens, but it feels better if I take it in with a modicum of stillness, a bit of meditation, some yoga, and a whole lot of hiking.