I’m waiting for the carpet installer to arrive. I’m thinking about how fall smells: sweet. How fall feels: a heavy, muggy warmth that heats up my skin while the cool breeze cools me down.
Often the sky is an amazing blue.
This last week, the moon has been starting her cycle as a sliver that moves toward a whole.
That’s a metaphor for the beginning of the school year: yes, we are at the beginning.
And we are at the end: the end of our time at St. John, with an 8th grader. So many people tell me not to mention Liz is there an extra year. But not to mention it leaves out the story that built me a strong center. Would it help to stop mentioning it? Well, sure, and yeah: leave it all behind.
But it’s there, those years that forged my strong center. All the educators at her school keep saying to me that she is doing well. Of course she is, my girl is a rock star.
Don’t mention it. Or mention it. It has been one hell of a journey. But that is true for every student there. So, there’s that ending.
And the ending of high school: clearly ahead. Caroline is a senior. And there’s so much not to say as she embarks on this crazy year.
There’s so much not to say for both of them. There’s a river of water that I can feel coming to the surface of my face as I think about all of this.
So I stop and place myself here. I’m waiting for carpet. I look around my office and am so glad I’ve moved on in a big way from what is in this crowded space. New job for half of the week, teaching starting in a few weeks, my freelance life a small slice of the pie after years of it being most of the pie. A big full moon that’s now a sliver.
A sliver that grows into a whole moon. Last night Caroline and I bought school supplies together and then went to a bookstore by her aunt’s house. We talked about things that are all hers to share, we looked at books, we met her aunt who borrowed Caroline her camera for photography class. And on the way home we talked about the moon and Taylor Swift’s new album. The sweet fall air enveloped me as I listened to her sing. We are traveling in a circle, from sliver to whole and back again.
I see the poetics (is that a word) of the beginning of the school year, and I really *WANT* to appreciate it, but this year has been a tough transition, not because it has been difficult, but there have been so many. My youngest starts preschool, but it’s not available as a full day. My other young child is in the afternoon preschool, so every day will be a constant transition of dropping off or picking up. And having two high school age teens in two different high schools is… crazy making. Just trying to celebrate the moments that come, knowing they deserve to be celebrated.
I don’t really appreciate it either. Definitely rough waters over here, and hard to remember that in two weeks, we will all be in a better groove. I’m not sure how you navigate three different schools and no free time. Your kids are lucky to have you balancing it all, which sounds trite but is not trite. The grace of the high school late start this morning: ah, that felt nice. Although I know your second high school probably doesn’t have that late start. I hope you have some good carpools going over there!