The rays of sunlight hit the left side of my face. I know what day it is because I get to help my daughter with her schoolwork. I’m unfolding into quarantine like everyone else. With tears. Gratitude. Anger. Scrolling on social media too much and then forgiving myself. Because if I can’t be kind to […]
Category: At Home
Make Me A River
You both crossed over long ago. When I was close to that crossing, I made it matter daily. I held the babies to me and really believed in God. I sucked in the sweetness of their skin; I thought perhaps that fickle God took two adults but gave me two babies. Years later, when I […]
The Heart Doesn’t Care About What The Head Knows
The Heart Doesn’t Care About What The Head Knows My body is making a new shape although I carry the past with me. I morph toward what’s next. I — oh — what is that shape? I move my whole body down. I sit my butt between my hips without touching the ground. I perch […]
Orange
Orange by Nancy Schatz Alton “I am lonely for myself.” -Crysta Casey All along I was not alone—I was with myself walking — making conversation — waiting for someone to fill me up yet here I was: orange center right in my belly red heart, green chest, blue throat, an indigo cloud that took […]
The Moon Is Mine
I’m waiting for the carpet installer to arrive. I’m thinking about how fall smells: sweet. How fall feels: a heavy, muggy warmth that heats up my skin while the cool breeze cools me down. Often the sky is an amazing blue. This last week, the moon has been starting her cycle as a sliver that […]
Departure + Arrival
I’m home & I’m alone My mind plans & texts My pictures speak I hang the picture of Chris & David above my desk My husband as a child: his joyful smile arrives above my desk His brother whom I hardly know stares at the camera He’s tall and thin, his jeans speak of the […]
Growth
It’s strange to be in my office working. Strange to look at my bulletin boards: quotes and drawings and pictures of my family. There’s a painting by Chris that sits at my eye-level. It’s a woman looking down, intent on her work. I am intent about my work. I carefully place these quotes and drawings […]
Likable
This morning I have a million different to-do’s, or it feels like I have a million different to-do’s to do. And I’m a few days into my new part-time job, which means my brain is on overload. An acquaintance reminded me last night that adults have a hard time being new learners. That’s why I […]
Marking Time
I mark this week, this month, this time, and I call it the time in-between. The moment I realized I’ve given what is needed in so many ways. The days I read books from start to finish while I listen for my kids, their sounds are off in the distance and I’m here in the […]
Pause
I’m in that window of time before I leap into something new and it’s all I can write about right now. If I think long enough about this pause, I see all the pauses before me. The few weeks I lived with my parents at age 24, before I moved to Seattle. Going to many […]